“Uhhh! I’m so gonna have to throw these shoes away!”
Poland was not amused. In fact, he was so unamused that his slow progress down the deserted urban street was something of a spectacle, vaguely resembling something that England would immediately lay claim to as a part of one of his Monty Python sketches. The little blonde was doing his absolute best to minimize his contact with the ground, resulting in a very interesting gait that involved touching the ground only with the heels of his uniform boots. Uh. This town was, like, totally not classy at all.
Poland was absolutely absorbed with keeping his balance as he walked along the edge of the damp, empty road; that is, until he placed his foot on a piece of road that snapped off from the road beneath his weight. It crumbled off into little ditch, and it took him with it. The excitement of the fall was mildly enjoyable. The sensation of dirty, dirty sewer water in his boxers was not.
He allowed himself a little shriek of frustration.
Great, now he would have to throw himself away too! This was, like, the worst meeting ever! Something that was normally silent but lived very deep inside of him told the little nation that something about the whole situation – even excluding that he had somehow ended up, like, drugged, or something, blacked out, had woken up just to be taunted by a totally cute pullover in a locked store, and had not encountered another living person, let alone another nation – was not right at all. He could not even begin to envision the world conference taking place in this town, and, in retrospect, that letter had been, like, seriously seedy.
Groaning, Feliks lifted himself out of the ditch and wandered back onto the road, dripping as he went. There was hardly any reason to tiptoe anymore, so he strode forward without his previous bounce, eyes catching on the vacant houses and buildings. Things suddenly seemed much, much colder, and far more dangerous. His next shiver didn’t stem purely from the cold, because something was totally not right.
It took a moment for Poland to realize what was wrong, but then, there it was, loud and clear – footsteps. Heavy, pounding footsteps; like, right out of Obrobka skrawaniem! Horror movies were something of a weakness for Feliks, whether he loved them dearly or not. He took a few tentative steps backward, but the steps were coming way too fast to escape.
Murmuring little prayers under his breath, the nation backed himself into a wall, and hoped that – if what was coming was a monster – his little dip in ditch sewage would make him smell too nasty to eat. And, if it did eat him, at least he would die reclining against a wall and looking cool.